Tears By Tink
by night-shifter
Summary: The story of before, during, and after Wendy's time. Tink tells her tale of love, heartbreak, and being shrunk down to a small size by Peter litterally. While she can't speak in Never Land, she has so much to say. Only problem is that she wont. R&R!
1. Chapter 1

"I really don't want to get my hair cut." I crossed my arms and waited for the hairdresser to come back with her pair of sheers. I sat, staring at my face in the giant mirror, not wanting to lose my yellow locks.

My mother glanced at me from behind her magazine and smiled. "It will look so much better if you do." She went back to reading.

I scowled. "No it won't. And I'm not getting bangs, either." I kept my eyebrows raised at her. I really wasn't. There was no way I was letting her destroy my hair again.

"You'll do as I say," she replied in a tone that said "you always do". I frowned and went back to staring myself down in the mirror. My green eyes looked angry, and I didn't like how it looked.

Peter was sure to hate my hair. He liked it long and curly. We matched. Two years ago, in fifth grade, his mom made him cut his hair and it looked terrible. It looked better when it was spiked. It made his almost-red hair look cool and wild. He was a wild boy, after all.

I barely ever saw Peter anymore. He was my best friend, but he was definitely around a lot less often. His mom worried a lot, but she never said anything to me about it, even though I knew. It was like Peter didn't even know her anymore, like she was only his mother in the stories he told the kids in the orphanage.

That's where he spent most of his time these days; with the parentless children. They were like his own, older and younger, but all the same, they were his. I'd seen them before. They all liked me, and they were all boys. He didn't go and see the girls because he felt a better connection to the guys.

It was weird, though, how they all flocked to him when he showed up, like he was the leader. And the games they would play! It would get crazy sometimes. They'd play battle and jump from bed to bed, from room to room, and I would sit in a corner and watch, giving out the battle plans Peter made.

And I was his right-hand girl. He'd always say, "Come on Bell!" And we would pretend to fly around the room. He didn't know about the big secret, but I'll get back to that in a minute.

As I was thinking about all this, the hairdresser came back with the sheers and began snipping away at my mother's direction, with me glaring at her in the mirror. She ignored me.

Anyway, I thought to myself. What had I just been thinking? Oh yeah…

Peter, back when I went to the shelter with him, would always ask for the glitter I brought with me. It was my own mix, and again, I'll explain it better later. But it made him feel happy. It made them all happy, and nothing could stop them once they sprinkled it on there noses and jumped around.

So, about my secret. I'm sort of a pixie. Not a little tiny one. That only happens when they fall in love with humans. There's some kind of rule that says a pixie will shrink when she tells a human she is in love with him. But that's not all. If and when she leaves her parents, she will become tiny. And a human could also turn her small by trying to save her.

There are many ways I could shrink, so I never told anyone about my little issue. Not even Peter.

And my glitter is actually…pixie dust. When I fly (with actually wings), it falls off the wings. My wings are like those of a butterfly. If you touch them, the dust will come off, but it's different because I'm still able to fly. And they make other people able to fly. The dust is pure magic.

That's why I give it to the "Lost Boys", as Peter likes to call them. I give just enough to make them happy. And Peter loves it. His boys are his own, and when they're happy, so is he.

But for a while now, he's been really distant. More so than usual… I wonder why that is… All throughout our childhood, he's hated his foster parents. Maybe finally he's snapped and run away, only coming out to see his boys.

I don't blame him. His father is pretty horrible. He's never home and doesn't care. I swear, it's like an on going battle with those two. And his mother is very needy.

I suspect that it's partly my fault that he is never around anymore. I barely ever listen to his crazy ideas about the stars. He had a dream one night about a year ago, and he's been obsessed with aliens and other planets. He and the boys play all the time. It's a world they've created, a place where they can never grow up and be like the people that gave them all up at birth.

They never want to be old and grabby. They never want to have their own kids. They never want to have rules or jobs. They never want to have parents.

Never Never Land.


	2. Chapter 2

"Your hair looks great," my mother said, patting my back as she handed a check to the hairdresser. I grimaced in the mirror. I looked horrible.

I had short bangs, and my hair would only be long enough to barely pull into a bun at the top of my head. God, it was awful. I would never forgive my mother for this. That was the last time I gave her my dust to make her feel better when she was feeling stressed.

Home was a simple place. I had no toys, and never did during my childhood. I didn't have makeup or jewelry or anything. My mom believed in leading an easy life. She wanted me to go to college, and insisted on the fact that she was saving all her money on my fund, which I doubted.

I wasn't allowed to have a boyfriend. It was a miracle that I was even allowed to be friends with Peter, since he was, after all, a member of the male species. And all my other friends were girls and wore glasses and were nerds.

"You shouldn't call them that," my mom always said. "Seventh grade is about finding yourself, and I'll bet that's just what they're doing. It'll happen to you."

No it wouldn't. She would never let me have my own life. I'd always be controlled by her, and then her teachings would stick with me throughout my adult-hood.

And that's why I played with the Lost Boys and Peter. I didn't want to grow up either. I wanted to stay with Peter and the boys and go to this alien planet Peter swore existed. But my mom would find me and drag me home.

At dinner one night, my mom had one of her friends over from her golf club. She had a daughter a little older than me, in ninth grade. She was quite a character. We only had two things in common. We liked the color green and we hated our moms'.

Her name was Linda, and she was a very gothic person. I'd never met a person who could wear so much black in one day. Mostly, because my mom kept me away from everyone. But Linda's mom didn't know how to handle her. I actually wished I could do that, speak up for myself.

The first time Linda told me off on it was the first time we met, a few weeks ago. I was very afraid of her, but she was very nice, and she answered any questions I had. And she told me things I didn't want to know, even.

"You won't ever be able to speak if you don't now," she'd said to me. She had scanned me over and sighed. "I'm glad I'm not as quiet as you. I'd never want to be trapped in my own throat."

But on this visit, Linda wasn't saying much. She sat on the couch as our mother's whispered and stared at a painting of a waterfall. We didn't have a TV. My mom said I'd become stupid if I watched it.

I couldn't say anything to her. She was almost crying as she sat there, not moving or blinking. I'd been about to ask my mom what was for dinner. But when I looked at Linda, I knew going into the kitchen would be a bad idea.

So I stood in the hall and listened to them chatter in hushed voices as my mom put something on the stove.

"Well I agree with you about it," my mom was saying. She dropped what sounded like rocks into a bubbling pot. "He's sounds like trouble."

I frowned and leaned over, trying to hear them clearly. Linda had a guy friend. Is that who they were talking about? She'd never mentioned having a boyfriend, so I had no idea.

"Yes well, she doesn't understand," Linda's mom said. She sighed. "She can't see that he is a bad influence. I mean god Lord, he even wears baggy pants!"

My mom gasped. I rolled my eyes in anger. What century did these women come from!

"Are you kidding?" my mom asked. Linda's mom must have nodded, because she said, "Well then you have every right to not allow them to talk. If Bell's little friend wore pants like that, I'd never let him here again."

I stopped listening after that. I hated her. I really hated her. She was nothing like my step-dad had been before she got yet _another_ divorce. I don't blame any of those men for leaving her. She was the biggest female-dog I'd ever seen.

I walked into the living room and sat down next to Linda, who glanced at me and took a deep, shaky breath. I'd never been in love, or ever had a crush. And if I did, it wasn't as big as what a high schooler must feel when they go through it. So I couldn't say anything to comfort her. There was really nothing I could do. I'd never been anywhere near her position. What did you say to a person who'd had they heart ripped out?

But she looked so miserable. I couldn't just sit there and stare at her. So I leaned over, hoping she would know what I was doing. She did, and she hugged me back. She wasn't the scary, tough girl I'd thought she was when I'd first seen her. She was just… herself.

And I wasn't who I wanted to be. I was quiet. Well, as soon as I could, I would destroy my mother's work. I would be my own person. Even if that meant I had to fly to Never Land with Peter.

--

Peter's mom drove me to the orphanage to see the boys and Peter, who she said was already there. I was so excited to him, I could barely sit still. His mom kept smiling at me, as if she knew. But what did she know?

I ran up the big stone steps and burst through the door, bumping into one of the boys. He was barely even four, and he grabbed my hand and skipped with down the hall to the main room where I could hear yelling and screaming. As we rounded the corner, I saw him, standing on a table and holding a wooden sword. There were little boys dressed as pirates dancing around him.

His eyes landed on me and his face broke into a smile. He held his sword high in the air, brining the attention of every set of eyes to him.

"Let the fair lady through," he said in a booming voice. The crowd of dirty boys parted and I was guided through them by the little one still holding on to my hand.

I laughed as I stepped onto the chair next to the table and crawled onto the table. "Peter Pandala, what are you doing?" I asked him. I looked down at him, dressed in green tights and a wild dress of leaves. He was wearing what looked like elf shoes and a funny little necklace was almost choking him.

I looked at it closely, realizing what it was. He smiled down at me, being so much taller. His freckles popped out at me, and his slightly protruding teeth scraped his upper lip. He was wearing a little plastic rock filled with my glitter, my pixie dust. His happiness.

I was very embarrassed that he was wearing it, but none of the boys noticed. They were too busy playing their pirate game. I grabbed a wooden sword and fought next to Peter. He was actually very good with a weapon, real or wooden. I wasn't all that good compared to him, but he laced his arm with mine and we kept on fighting off the little boys.

Peter suddenly leapt into the air, taking me with him, and then pushing me behind him as he fought off more pirates. Was he trying to keep me out of harm's way?

I felt my body tingle and then I fell at his feet. He didn't notice. He was too busy laughing to see that I'd fallen over and was now looking up at them from very far down. One of the boys waved to me, not seeing that something very bad was happening.

And then Peter turned around and saw that I was on the ground and he knelt next to me, putting one of his hands on my shoulder.

"Hey, Bells, you ok?" he asked me. I looked into his light brown eyes that were flecked with green and nodded. He frowned and pulled me up. "Enough of this, I have to get Bell home." The Lost Boys whined and complained, but Peter pushed past them without another word and got me into the small lobby.

"I'm fine," I insisted. He didn't believe me. And he was still protecting me. I started crying. If only he'd stop. Why wouldn't he stop? He had to stop trying to help me or I'd be small, and if I was small, I wouldn't be able to be his friend. I'd have to fly away and live alone.

He wiped my eyes and asked the front desk lady to call his mom because we wanted to leave. She stood up and walked to the other room to make the call since the Lost Boys were still yelling and playing.

"Bell, what's wrong?" he asked me. He sounded worried and sad for me. It was making things worse. I'd never been this close to becoming small.

I smiled at him despite the tingling. "I'm fine. Really. I… can't tell you what happened though."

Peter looked at me and raised an eyebrow. He grabbed the rock full of dust and smiled at me. "If you tell me, I'll eat the dust."

I gasped. "You can't eat that! It might kill you!" God, boys could be dumb. I hoped next year he'd be smarter. Maybe eighth grade would change him.

Peter shrugged and started at me. "Why would it? It's only a little glitter." But he didn't touch it. He left it around his neck. I was very relieved. "But I will later if you tell me what happened. Why did you faint like that? You scared me."

I couldn't tell him the truth. The truth would frighten him, and that was the last ting I wanted to have happen. If I told him the real reason, he wouldn't let me play with them. He didn't realize that he was my only friend. He was the only person I'd die for.

I swallowed, trying to come up with a good lie to get him off my back. But I couldn't find anything. I felt a little cramp in my stomach and nearly gasped as an idea found its way into my head.

"I started my period. I was having cramps," I blurted right as the front desk lady walked back in. I blushed as she hesitated before smirking and sitting back down.

Peter blinked at me a few times and then scooted away from me. We both laughed.

"Oh," he said. I sighed. "Then… you're ok?"

I nodded with relief. "Yes, Peter, I'm ok."

I'd make sure he'd never find out. Even if it meant staying away from him. I'd never let him know. I wouldn't risk our friendship on honesty unless I had to.


End file.
